


You Want A Revelation, Some Kind of Resolution

by HicSuntDracones



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awesome Morgana (Merlin), BAMF Gwen (Merlin), Character Study, F/F, Feminist Themes, Fix-It of Sorts, Getting Together, M/M, POV Morgana (Merlin), Pre-Season/Series 01, Queen Morgana (Merlin), Season/Series 01, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-02-23 07:30:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23174560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HicSuntDracones/pseuds/HicSuntDracones
Summary: Three days later, she was crowned Queen amid extreme controversy. That the history books remember, that and some of what comes after. It is the lead-up, the catalysts, the life before the crown that historians will forget. Which is why I’m telling you now. Here is how a woman did not have to become a cruel farce of herself in order to survive a world not built for her. Here is how a woman found love in friendship when told she never could. Here is how a queendom was built out of blood and ashes into something better. Here is how Morgana gained the throne. (And stayed there).
Relationships: Gwen/Morgana (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	1. What Stays and What Fades Away

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PenDragonInkus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PenDragonInkus/gifts).



> I have always found Morgana intensely interesting; this fic is written to explore her complicated sense of self and the decisions she makes because of that.  
> This is the childhood we never saw, the fierce loyalty that a select few earned, the exhaustion of living in a world that hates her and how she tries to be good in spite of that even though it is so so so hard.  
> This is Morgana le Fay, finally getting what she deserves.

Morgana kills Uther. Many years later, this is what the history books will begin with. The books will begin with murder, because murder is more interesting than a slow death by suffocation and a thousand small cuts. The books will begin with a knife in the King’s chest; not the chains he put his daughter in when she dared defy him. The books will not mention villagers left to fend for themselves, the condemnation of blacksmiths and maids to death, the thousands killed by a cruel king’s hand or orders. Well, perhaps the books will mention that last one. That old cruel king had killed so many, forced hundreds of others into hiding; even in his own palace, even his own daughter.  
Morgana begins to realize her skills when her brother almost dies, watching him drown in a lake again and again and again. It is not that lake that will kill him though, they survive that and more, illnesses and schemers and poison so determined to get young people out of the way for one reason or another. This draws them together. They hone their skills, four of them. Swords and spells, speak-craft of rulers and survival for those who can do only that. For a time they are content, safe in their friendships. Morgana is content, waiting for opportunity. Then things worsen.  
Few chroniclers of history will remember the small border village that fought against bandits with the help of three from three from Camelot. The Battle of Ealdor was fought by people who loved their home and those who had come from it. The Crown Prince was wounded in that battle and remained behind to recover. Of the four that left Camelot, only two returned. Morgana and Gwen faced the king’s anger, and spent several nights in chains.  
Morgana had always seethed at Uther’s casually callous treatment of those who threatened his authority, but the final insult was the day that Gwen came to her in tears, mourning her father killed over false accusations of conspiracy. That day, something inside her said ‘No more, no more’. As she held her friend, she quietly asked for a knife(Uther did not permit his ward weapons). Through her tears, Gwen tilted her head and declared she’d forge the blade herself. She does, in record time. It is simple, small, sharp. Engraved with symbols for royalty and new beginnings, for all great weapons have either a name or an inscription. The end of the blade is jagged, for more painful tearing of flesh.  
Morgana attends to the king in his throne room, stands as if to apologize for some imagined offense. Then she stabs him in the heart. She throws the crown to the ground and leaves the body for someone else to find.(She was never very good at cleaning up her own messes).  
Three days later, she was crowned Queen amid extreme controversy. That the history books remember, that and some of what comes after. It is the lead-up, the catalysts, the life before the crown that historians will forget. Which is why I’m telling you now. Here is how a woman did not have to become a cruel farce of herself in order to survive a world not built for her. Here is how a woman found love in friendship when told she never could. Here is how a queendom was built out of blood and ashes into something better. Here is how Morgana gained the throne. (And stayed there).


	2. Little Girls Are Gonna Rule the Godsdamned World

Years from now, a young woman will look across a feast hall to her best friend and explain to a strange young man that some people are just born to be Queen. She is wrong; the young woman sitting beside the king was not going to be Queen; she was the product of a King's infidelity, a mother's magic, and a lifetime of restrained ambition. She was born to be a Court's jewel, a credit to her guardian's name,and steward of a manor house instead of a kingdom. So she was not born to be Queen. But she would become one anyway, because she was clever and cutthroat and caring and she'd wanted to be Queen of Camelot since the day she'd learned of the position.  
Morgana had been just shy of four years old when she first learned what a Queen was. Her father had been summoned urgently to Camelot's court and so had brought Vivian and Morgana along to infringe on Camelot's hospitality. Morgana doesn't remember most of that day but she does remember the sound of hooves on cobbles as they rode into the castle courtyard. Her father had been quickly ushered away but such was the clamor of the castle but no one paid notice to a small girl trailing behind a group of arguing Lords, thinking that whatever they were doing might be more fun than having tea. Curious, she followed them into the council room where there were even more men all screaming and arguing and drawing on large maps. She quickly found a place to hide beside a large side table and took in the proceedings with wide eyes. She didn't understand a word of what was going on, but men were waving parchman around and debating figures and even the King was shouting a bit so it must have been very important. She was very proud of herself for knowing which one the King was-the one with the very large crown on because that's what Daddy said Kings wore.  
She was thinking it looked very shiny when the King banged his fist on the table. “Damm this,” he shouts. “ The merchants have to get there in two month’s time or else the deal will be null-”   
“Your Majesty-” someone tries to interrupt.  
“How are we meant to get there if there’s a blasted magical forest in the way?” Morgana did not like the way this man was shouting, and she certainly didn’t like the way it made everyone else angry too. The lords all keep waving their papers and screaming to be heard over their neighbors, and Morgana wants to tell them that Mother said that’s not polite-  
Suddenly everyone stops shouting, staring at something behind Morgana. She turns around in her hiding place as the councillors start murmuring “Your Majesty.” A Lady has entered the room. She has a crown like the King’s but prettier, the silver reflecting the yellow of her hair in marvelous ways. Her eyes are clear and intelligent, focused on the table and it’s many maps. She’s very pregnant.   
“Still arguing over the trade routes, my love?” She says to the King.   
“It’s a trifling, Ygraine, go rest-”  
“Let me see.” Ygraine walks forward slowly with a hand pressed to her lower back, but her eyes are determined, and Morgana finds she likes that. Ygraine bends over the table as far as she can, peering at the small wooden figures populating one of the bigger maps. “You’re trying to go around the Darkling Forest?”  
The King sighs like this is a conversation he’s had many times before. Morgana knows that sigh, it’s the one Mother gives when she finds Morgana playing with her lip paint and rouge. The councillors just watch the conversation between the King and the Lady.   
“We cannot risk our merchants to the whims of Fae folk-”  
“Then the negotiations I just came from will help considerably.”  
“What negotiations?” Says the King, torn between shock and admiration.  
“The formal agreement to an alliance between Camelot and the Druid peoples of the Darkling Forest. Nimueh came from there originally, and she served as the messenger for my conversation with their leader, Ceridwen. She has agreed to allow Nimueh to stay here until the end of my pregnancy, in exchange for Lord Colins staying with them as a safeguard. Small groups interested in educating themselves in our medicine or Druid crafts can move back and forth, and a trade route through the forest will be open until the first day of winter in exchange for a percentage of the goods and profits. We’ll have to renegotiate next year, but they seem remarkably open minded.” She eyes some of the councillors meaningfully. The whole room is silent, partially fearing the King’s reaction, but mostly relieved that they would not be spending the next several hours arguing.   
“Now can someone please get me a chair?” At least half the room springs up, offering their seats. Ygraine chooses the closest one and sinks onto it with a sigh. “Much better.” Morgana is staring at the Lady in complete awe. She’s very calm, and very pretty, and she made all the arguing stop, so she must be wonderful.   
The Lady looks across the room and starts as she sees Morgana, who despite being caught is brave enough to give a little wave. “Who’s child is that?” She asks, causing the whole room to suddenly spin and look at Morgana. It is much scarier to have a room full of men staring at you than a single kind woman. Her father emerges from the crowd of men, quickly gathering Morgana into his arms while apologizing profusely. “Apologies, Majesties, she must have followed me in here-”  
“Yes, yes, just get her out of here-”  
“There’s no need to apologize,” Ygraine emphasizes, staring pointedly at the King. “I suppose we’ll have to get used to little invaders soon, won’t we?” She puts a hand on her stomach, and the King deflates.   
“I suppose we will. Gorlois, please just return her to her mother so we can continue.”  
“Of course your Majesties, sorry your Majesties,” Gorlois utters platitudes as he bundles Morgana out of the room. The little girl doesn’t want to go, wiggling around in his arms while trying to wave at Ygraine again. “Come, Morgana, this is no place for Ladies-”  
“But Father, there’s a Lady right there!” She smiles at Ygraine, who gives her a soft look and a smile.   
“That Lady is the Queen, Morgana, she can go wherever she likes.”  
“Goodbye Queen!” Morgana calls as she is carried out of the room. Gorlois just mutters, prompting Morgana to begin asking questions, as she always does. “Why was the Queen wearing a crown?”  
“Because the Queen is very important-”  
“What exactly does a Queen do?”  
“Well, you know your mother manages our house, the Queen manages the kingdom.”  
“I’m important, why don’t I get a crown?”  
“Only Kings and Queens get crowns.”  
“I want to be Queen then.”  
Gorlois stops walking then, placing his daughter on her feet and kneeling on the flagstones of the hallway so that their eyes meet. “Morgana, Kings and Queens are grown-up things-”  
“I’ll be Queen when I grow up then.”  
“No,” Gorlois insists. “Only some women are Queens, Morgana, and you are not one of them. You are a Lady, just like your mother is a Lady, and you are important, but you cannot be Queen, and you cannot say you want to be Queen in front of certain people. Do you understand?” His voice is serious, so Morgana nods solemnly. “Alright then, let’s get you back to your mother,” Morgana grabs her father’s hand and they continue to walk down the hallway.   
“Father?”   
Gorlois sighs, perhaps sensing that this is only the beginning of the questions.“Yes?”  
“What should I call the Queen if I see her again?”  
“Queen Ygraine,” Gorlois says reverently. “Her Majesty Queen Ygraine.” Morgana thinks that while this is a very pretty name, Her Majesty Queen Morgana has a much nicer ring to it. She now knows better than to share this with her father, however.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, comment and kudo below if you are so inclined; more is coming so check out my other Merlin fics if you're interested! (I'm quarantined, so much writing will be forthcoming)
> 
> Also credit to Florence + the Machine for chapter titles


End file.
